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Part 5: Nancy’s Saga- A Comparative Reading – Relationship Dynamic Between Nancy and Her Husband ALSO Between Nancy’s Husband and His Lover * Using Golden Rider Tarot and Relationship Spread

27 Jul

My friend Nancy was distraught and devastated with the situation of her marriage. After going through with her with the various spreads, as seen in Part 1, Part 2, Part 3 and Part 4, its obvious that the deterioration of her marriage was not an overnight sort of thing. Her husbands affair is a long standing one thus obviously all is not well in their relationship for a long time. I thought that it would be informative, interesting and beneficial to study the dynamic of the relationship between Nancy and her husband and to compare it between him and his lover ( for this I did a 3rd party reading).

Its interesting to do this spread because from the previous reading, we found out that Nancy’s husband has a strong bond for his lover and that there is no way he’ll end the relationship unless she decides to end it…so the dynamics of the relationship is very helpful to understand the hold this lady has over Nancys husband.

To know the dynamic of the relationship between Nancy and her husband can help Nancy to understand her marital woes. How are they interacting?..What is it about her that makes her husband pull away?, I say this because Nancy is quite happy and contented in the marriage, BUT obviously he’s not ūüė¶ …

I know Nancy and her husband for a long time. Her husband is a devoted family man, reliable (someone I’d consider good husband material). Their relationship must’ve been strained internally but not noticeable from the outside.

Using  The Relationship Spread by Robert M. Place the following readings were done.

Using the 3 card story approach to read each group of 3 cards and then looking at all three groups of cards as a single picture to observe the energy patterns:

Figure 1: Relationship Spread Between Nancy & Her Husband

Lets see how Nancy and her husband interacts (The 2 sets of cards are studied inwards i.e. from both ends starting with (High Priestess and The Fool):

There are deep hidden issues about their relationship that the husband is internalizing deep within himself (The High Priestess). He keeps this unhappiness regarding their relationship to himself. This unhappiness could stem from Nancy ‘s role as a wife (femaleness), he is unhappy with Nancy in her capacity as a wife. The High priestess can show issues about femininity. There could also be issues on sexual satisfaction as The High Priestess can represent issues on sexual abstinance. The Fools card on Nancys side, denotes that Nancy is not bothered with her husbands unhappiness, she is not sensitive enough to his needs and appear clueless in wanting to make him happy. She carries on nonchalantly and just focuses on herself ad her own desires.

Because of Nancys uncaring attitude (Four Of Cups). She remains passive to her husbands love and affection. The Four of Cups can indicate someone who is more concern about her own feelings and needs, withholding affection and becoming disengaged. Seeing no response from Nancy to wanting to change, The husband meanwhile withdraws within himself and keeps things secretly from her (The High Priestess) and becomes open to confront himself with the means of experiencing meeting his physical and emotional needs (Ace of Pentacles). The Ace of Pentacles is a card that focuses on continuation or things that come together later on (like a gift). Its also about new thing replacing old things and potential partners and partnership.

Now that Nancy’s husband is no more expecting love and affection from Nancy (he gave up on her), he being open to potential partner..Hey Presto ..The Ace of Cups here speaks about him meeting a new love. The Ace of Cups card focuses on affairs concerning love, inspiration, pleasures and satisfaction. It indicates a new beginning in his emotional life, beginning of something wonderful and meaningful to him. In fact the Queen of Pentacles is linked to this card! Well from here we can safely say that he found security and optimism in this new love (Queen of Pentacles) . His lover could be a businesswomen (Queen of Pentacles).¬†When referring to a person, the card suggests a woman with her feet on the ground, whose experiences have granted her psychological maturity. ¬†She is a patient and reliable person, known for her sensuality as much as for her altruism.

Meanwhile, The Seven Of Cups here shows that Nancy is feeling confused, having feelings of powerlessness in her relationship. She starts sensing something have changed in the relationship with her husband . Incidentally, The Tower Card is linked to The Seven of Cups! It does show her world is crumbling before her very eyes… The focus of this card is on unexpected events. What was up until yesterday representing habit and security is now destined to break down and change drastically. Without a doubt, this is a crisis card! Change has been avoided and put off for a long time and now it moves forward forcefully.

Finally, the 3 cards representing the Relationship itself shows that a third party (Queen of Pentacles) has come into the relationship because of indifference, withdrawal and passivity (Four Of Swords) and would invariably cause turmoil and disaster (The Tower) in the relationship between Nancy and her husband.

Relationship Between Nancy’s Husband and His Lover

Figure 2: Relationship Spread Between Nancy’s Husband & His Lover

Using the 3 card story approach to read each group of 3 cards and then looking at all three groups of cards as a single picture to observe the energy patterns:

Lets see how Nancy’s husband and His Lover interacts (The 2 sets of cards are studied inwards i.e. from both ends starting with (King of Cups and The Five of Cups):

The Five Of Cups shows that Nancy’s husband is a very unhappy man. He went through emotional exhaustion and is depressed by apathy and loneliness in his marriage (This can bee seen in Figure 1.). He is ¬†longing for something to happen that can bring back “life” into his lonely existence. Suddenly, his prayers are answered and this new Lady offers him Love, care and understanding. The King of Cups denotes a situation¬†in which caring, compassion and empathetic assistance are of the utmost importance. Depicted by the King Of Cups, shows that the Lady is calm, Unlike the Queen of Cups who can be too emotional and claustrophobic , the King of Cups shows a lady who is emotionally secure and has a deep grasp of human behavior.

This new situation gives hope and happiness to Nancy’s husband. The Star card focuses on faith, hope and future. He is ¬†feeling himself so lucky and sees her presence in his life as a miracle! On the other hand, unlike Nancy, His Lover¬†ingratiate¬†herself with him (The Hierophant Card). She sees herself and him and also makes him see both of them as an entity, Conforming to each other. She gives him a sense of belonging. She validates him.

Being depicted as the Queen of Wands,¬†this card portrays the Lover as a woman who is very attractive and has a strong and difficult character.¬†She knows how to get what she wants; her personal commitment and creative mind win her the admiration of people around her. She uses such means to her own advantage. All this positive traits and cleverness of this woman makes Nancy’s husband feels good within himself and he feels himself victorious to have gained her love and affection. The Six of Wands here symbolises a period of personal victory received after a long period of sacrifice. He feels himself appreciated and is fulfilled.

There is however one glitch, The Lover is married. The King of Pentacles card is linked to The Queen of Wands! Her husband could be a businessman or someone in the financial sector. Nancy’s husband seems determine to win his lady love. He seems poised to wait for a good opportunity. He is not giving up! The Nine of Wands focus on stamina, courage, faith of conviction,¬†doing the best according to circumstances, gathering strength, biding time, or awaiting the right moment to act.

Finally, the 3 cards representing the Relationship shows that the presence of a rival (King OF Pentacles) is causing conflict, struggle and challenges. The Five of Wands card shows this. Nevertheless, as explained in the above paragraph, Nancy’s husband is unperturbed¬†…he will hold on till he gets his Lady (Nine of Wands) . No way will he abandon this relationship ūüėĮ !

Conclusion: I hope Nancy can somehow try to fix the relationship now that she knows where things have gone amiss. Hope its not too late…. The lesson learned here is that we must never take our spouse and our marriage for granted. Its very important to always be sensitive to each others needs and communicate well. Apathy and laziness will allow others to fulfill the unmet needs of our spouse.

PS:

Part 1 can be found here

Part 2 can be found here

Part 3 can be found here

Part 3 can be found here

Part 4 can be found here

Part 6 can be found here

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Posted by on July 27, 2012 in Golden Rider Tarot, The Relationship Spread by Robert M. Place

 

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